Fun with Oneshots
by Heartache14
Summary: A random little collection of oneshots. SuzuxLulu, a little SuzuxEuphy, other possible pairings. Chapter 5 - Fan Service
1. Insanity 1 Musical Horrors

Author's Note: I was reading reviews on my _Since U Been Gone_ and **RiseofaRebellion** (being the lovely bundle of awesomeness that she is), said I should make a longer version, where Shirley and Milly take their plan a step further…mwahahaha (that was my evil laugh)…

Lelouch: oh no. she's at it again! *hides under covers*

Me: Lulu, there better not be anyone under those covers with you…

Anywayz, as I was saying, I didn't feel like starting a new story just for this and I already had an idea to do a collection of one-shots. This is just the first one. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only own Code Geass in my dizziest daydreams. But Suzaku will be mine foe-evah! (forever). Just don't tell Sunrise. Shh…

* * *

It was just an ordinary day for Lelouch Lamperouge. He slept through all his classes, ignored the constant cries of "kyaa!" every time he was spotted by one of his fangirls, and watched the world with his usual expression of boredom and indifference.

Little did he know, his day was going to become _a lot_ more interesting and not in a good way.

He froze just outside the Student Council Room. His eyebrow was twitching profusely and uncontrollably. At this moment, he hoped to God, to anyone really, that he was going insane. He literally prayed that his ears were deceiving him. There was no way this was happening. But it was.

Since U Been Gone was blasting out of the room. Kelly Clarkson's voice was like an omen, a warning of things to come. It was a musical beacon calling out, saying _Turn around, RUN AWAY! Do anything; just get the hell away from here!!!_

Lelouch was clearly a hypocrite. For someone who constantly chastised Suzaku for being so dumb, Lelouch could be pretty damn stupid. Instead of walking away like any perfectly normal, _sane_ person would've done, he went in the room anyway!

The Student Council Room was super dark; it was kinda eerie. As he made his way towards the table in the center of the room, he heard what sounded like muffled laughter. That was impossible, though. Right?

Lelouch heard a burst of anticipatory laughter. Suddenly, before he had an opportunity to open his mouth and scream, a hand snaked out from underneath the table and wrapped around his ankle. He was yanked down with surprising strength. The hand around his leg was…delicate. Almost like that of a female.

He was surprised to Milly and Shirley. Well, he was surprised to see Shirley anyway. Milly's presence wasn't that much of a shock.

"Milly, what the hell—"He was cut off by the sound of someone entering the room.

Suzaku poked his head into the room. "Lelouch? Are you in here?"

Lelouch's eyes widened. As much as he wanted to scream at Suzaku to save him, he couldn't. He loved the boy too much to let him suffer the same fate. His sacrifice was quite romantic and inspirational. His story would be told in an award-winning Oscar-worthy film. Lelouch would be portrayed by some younger, purple-eyed version of Jake Gyllenhall. Or a pale, more awesome version of Zac Efron (or not).

The only problem was that they would pick some lame new-comer to portray Suzaku. Or worse yet…Rob Pattinson. No. Lelouch would not live, could not survive, if they picked Rob Pattinson to play his sweet, beautiful Suzaku.

"Suzaku! No, don't!" Lelouch shouted as the door knob began to turn. Suddenly it stopped turning.

"What?"

Lelouch opened his mouth to say more but Milly covered his mouth as Shirley sat on his chest.

"Come on in, Suzaku," Milly said in a poor imitation of Lelouch's voice. "Everything's fine."

"Well…alright!"

Suzaku entered the room.

Lelouch rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe he fell for someone so gullible! Suzaku was a soldier for crying out loud! Didn't they train him to be prepared for traps like these? Suzaku was so trusting and saw the best in everyone. Of course, that was part of the reason Lelouch fell for him in the first place. He was so sweet and strong and gorgeous and amazing and…wait! He needed to focus on the situation at hand. He was being held hostage by two evil, hormonal teenage girls.

"Why is it so dark in here, Lulu?" Suzaku asked, clearly confused.

"Oh, Zuzu," Milly continued in here faux-lulu voice, "I have night-vision goggles. I wanted to try them out."

"Why are you here all alone, Lulu?"

"Oh, Suzaku, that makes it easier to get you alone."

"Well, Lulu, why are you listening to Kelly Clarkson?"

"The better to get you in the mood, Zuzu."

Apparently, Suzaku wasn't that naïve because he knew exactly what Milly/Lelouch meant by "get you in the mood." Suzaku paused and blushed, uncomfortably.

Meanwhile, under the table (and under Shirley's butt), Lelouch vi Britannia was slowly dying a thousand deaths. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Milly and Shirley were going to have hell to pay when this was over.

"Get me in the mood for what, exactly?" Suzaku asked, afraid of the answer.

Milly took another deep breath…

"Get you in the mood to suck my-"

"Whoa, Lulu! What the hell?!" Suzaku shouted. "I thought this fanfic was rated T!"

"Oh, my bad, Zaku," Milly replied in her awful Lulu-impersonation. "I forgot."

_Wait a minute,_ Suzaku thought. _Lulu would never care about the rating. He would say whatever the hell he wanted. Something's up._

"You know, Lelouch. It would be really nice if you would come out now," Suzaku used his most pleading voice. "I haven't seen you all day and I really missed you. I mean, don't you want to kiss me? I know you like it when run my hands down your body and touch your—"

Suzaku's words were cut off by a small puddle of blood trickling out from beneath the table. Suzaku ducked his head beneath the table.

"Ah ha!" he shouted. Milly, Shirley and Lelouch were cupping their noses, trying to suppress the flow of blood.

"You know we're not gonna be able to let you escape now, right?" Milly said as she reached up and grabbed tissues from the table above them.

"Wha—Ah!" Suzaku shouted as Shirley pulled him underneath the table. Milly produced a roll of duct tape and heavy duty twine from her jacket pocket.

"Sorry, you guys, but this is for your own good."

* * *

Lelouch failed to understand _how_ exactly tying their hands behind their backs and taping their mouths shut was for their own good. As he struggled with the twine, his annoyance grew. Milly was going to pay when this was over.

Suzaku and Lelouch had been placed back-to-back, which Lelouch also didn't see the point of. It was nothing but unnecessary.

Suddenly, Kallen entered the room. "Why the hell is it so dark in here? And whose bright idea was it to listen to Kelly Clarkson?"

Suzaku and Lelouch tried to shout through the tape but all that came out were muffled screams. Of course, they were loud enough for Kallen to here; she just chose to ignore them for the time being.

"Oh, Suzaku. Harder!" Milly said in her terrible Lelouch voice.

"Lelouch! Ahh…" Shirley said, trying her hand at Suzaku's voice. She was actually pretty good. Suzaku wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, though.

Kallen had to repress her laughter but it was hard. "Uh, Milly? Shirley? Are you guys trying to trick me into believing it's Suzaku and Lelouch making those noises. Nice try but only an idiot would fall for that."

Lelouch snorted. Finally, someone who agrees with him.

Suzaku and Lelouch tried to shout. Kallen rolled her eyes in annoyance. They obviously wanted her attention. She sighed and dragged the two hostages out from beneath the table and ripped the tape off their mouths. She then used her Swiss Army knife to cut away the super twine of doom.

Milly and Shirley crawled out from underneath the table.

"I think you should apologize to them."

"Sorry." Milly and Shirley mumbled the word.

Suzaku said "Apology accepted" and smiled at them. Lelouch, on the other hand, merely nodded and muttered a few words under his breath.

"I just have one question though," Lelouch said. "When the two of you were pretending to be Suzaku and me, you implied that Suzaku was on top. Why is that?"

Silence…Then everyone burst out laughing and Lelouch received four looks that basically said _"Do you really have to ask?"_

* * *

A/N: Haha! I'm done with my first story in my collection of one-shots! Yayz! You know the drill review and you get a cupcake; no review and you get explosive corn muffinz. On to the next story! I think Euphemia will be involved…hmmz…

Euphy: Yay! I get to be in the next story?! Will Zuzu-chan be there?

Me: Er, yeah! Of course! I love Suzaku! *glomps*

Suzaku: *hugs Stephie-chan back* Awwz! I lovez you, too!

Euphy: *shoots fire from eyes* Suzaku is mine! But… I suppose we can share.

Me: M 'kay. (lie--has no intention of sharing Suzaku with anyone…but lulu, anywayz)


	2. Insanity 2 All About Euphy

A/N: 'Kay, time for the second story! Whoa, I'm blowing through this fanfic fast! That's probably because there's no real plot unlike my other stories. Ahem *glares at chapter 3 of Notebooks and Vampires of the Revolution* Anywayz, on to the story.

**Warning**: This story contains copious amounts of Euphemia Li Britannia. People who are allergic to possessiveness, have a general annoyance of pink hair, and twitch at the idea of Suzaku _not _being with Lelouch should walk away now.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my endless imagination…well, sometimes late at night I own Suzaku but that doesn't really count.

* * *

Suzaku was nervously making his way down the hall. Princess Euphemia had requested his presence in her "royal" bed chamber. He _really _didn't want to go.

You see, Suzaku knew Euphy very well. He knew things that most people wouldn't, not even her brothers and sisters. Things that are creepy and scary and just plain…weird.

Suzaku was at the door and already he could hear the music. He couldn't help but cringe. He would never understand why she liked that. To Suzaku, it was just crazy and unnecessary and, well, annoying.

Little Known Euphy Fact # 1

She likes to have her own theme music.

Yes, as stupid as it may sound, Princess Euphemia liked to have a small collection of songs on hand to play as she walked around. He'd never forget the first time she told him about the theme music.

"_Hello, Princess." He bowed to her. This was back when Suzaku actually thought she was normal._

"_Hello, Suzaku. Would you escort me on a walk through the royal gardens?"_

"_Of course, your highness."_

_They strolled through the gardens examining the flowers and secretly watching each other out of the corner of their eyes. They admired one another's beauty._

_And then, Suzaku heard it. At first it played softly in the background. One could have just blamed it on a trick of the mind. But it got louder. Almost more insistent._

"_Do you hear that?" Suzaku asked._

"_Oh yes! That's my theme music. Do you like it Suzu-chan?"_

_Suzaku fidgeted uncomfortably. No, not really. He decided to dodge her question with one of his own._

"_Why do you have theme music, Princess?"_

"_To announce my arrival, silly! Everyone needs to know that Princess Euphemia Li Britannia is entering the building!"_

Suzaku shook his head and tried to work up the courage to enter the room. The sooner he went in there, the sooner it would be done with. Suzaku turned the knob and entered the room cautiously.

"Suzaku!" Euphemia bounced across the room and hugged Suzaku tightly.

Little Known Euphy Fact # 2

Euphemia was incredibly affectionate, almost inappropriately so.

_Euphy and Suzaku had been playing the game with Schneizel for a few hours now. This was literally the longest game of Uno…ever._

"_Your turn, Euphy," Schneizel said to his younger sister._

_Euphemia pouted, "Are you really gonna make me Draw 2, Suzaku?"_

_Suzaku sighed. This game had been going on forever and he desperately wanted someone to win. But his first and foremost priority was to keep Euphy safe and happy. And if a twelve hour game of Uno was going to make her happy, then so be it._

"_Of course not, your highness. It was silly of me to play that card in the first place." Suzaku removed the card from the pile and played a Wild Card in its place._

"_Oh! Isn't he just so sweet?!" Euphemia gushed to her older brother. She crawled onto Suzaku's lap and placed a very inappropriate kiss onto his lips._

'_What the hell is she doing?' Suzaku thought frantically. 'Her brother is like two feet away from us!'_

_Suzaku didn't want to hurt his princess's feelings, so he didn't push her away. It was his job to keep her happy and if kissing him in front of her older brother made her happy, then so be it._

_However, once she stuck her tongue down his throat and her hands became more, ahem, adventurous, Suzaku decided it was time to end the kiss._

"_Uh, Princess," he said gently, "That wasn't really appropriate."_

"_Oh you're right!" she gasped. "I should've waited until I played my card before I did that!"_

"Hello, my lady." Suzaku bowed. "How are you this afternoon?"

"I'm great!" Euphemia proceeded to drag Suzaku into the room and push him onto the bed. "So, Suzaku, how do you like the royal bed chamber?"

Little Known Euphy Fact # 3

She used the word 'royal' obsessively.

Suzaku didn't understand why all of her things had to be 'royal'. Just because she was a princess, didn't mean everything she owned or touched was 'royal'. That was like him saying everything he owned was Japanese.

"I think your bed chamber is quite lovely, your highness."

"Ah, ah, ah," Euphy said, shaking her finger in his face. "You said it wrong."

Suzaku blushed, more so out of annoyance than actual embarrassment.

"I apologize, my lady. I meant the 'royal' bed chamber is quite lovely."

Euphemia beamed. "That's much better. Now, come on." She yanked him off of the bed with surprising strength. "Let's get something to eat from the royal kitchens."

* * *

Princess Euphemia was _less_ than pleased when she discovered that her father had given all the royal chefs the day off. However, because she was a Britannian princess, she decided to take things into her own hands. And by taking things into her own hands, she decided that the only solution was for _her_ to cook for Suzaku and herself. When the knight (desperate to find another, any other, option) pleaded with Her Royal Highness to allow him to cook, the princess shrugged him off and gave him a royal smile, assuring the pilot that she could handle it herself.

"Don't worry, Suzaku," Euphy said as she turned on the stove. "We'll have a home-cooked meal in no time!"

Euphy filled a large pot with water and grabbed a jar of alfredo sauce from the royal pantry. She sat the jar of sauce into the water-filled pot and placed that onto the stove.

"Um, Princess Euphemia?" Suzaku asked nervously. "I don't think—"

"Hush up, Suzaku!" She said sweetly as she dug through the pantry. "I know what I'm doing…more or less."

Suzaku tried to creep over to the pot and _properly_ put the sauce into the pot. But suddenly, the jar exploded in a burst of delicious goodness, covering everything within a five foot radius in creamy white pasta sauce.

Suzaku stood there, still as a statue, trying to process what exactly just happened. Princess Euphemia, however, had yet to notice, despite the loud noise the explosion had caused. She just stood there, digging through the pantry, searching for pasta noodles.

Suzaku racked his brain. He was pretty sure that this was nowhere in his job description. He didn't recall that there was a chapter on being covered in pasta sauce. He mentally ran through the instructions in his guidebook.

HOW TO BE A KNIGHT 101

1. Stay strong, fast, and healthy.

Check. Suzaku had done that. He worked out every day and made sure he stayed strong. He was naturally fast and he rarely got sick, so there were no issues with that.

2. Fight for justice.

Check. That one was easy enough. He was a natural born hero, for Christ sake! Fighting for justice had been hardwired into his brain since birth.

3. Keep your princess safe and happy.

Hmm, he wasn't so sure about that one. She wasn't in any physical harm. And she seemed pretty happy. Though Suzaku had no desire to physically harm the girl, he was biting back the urge to use some of his PG-13 words.

Euphy decided to pick that moment to turn around. "Suzaku! What happened?"

_You're a complete dumbass, who can't even cook freakin' pasta! _This is probably what anyone who _wasn't_ Suzaku would've thought. However, Suzaku wasn't thinking about anything; he was still in shock.

"Oh no!" Euphy ran to the now-dented pot. "The royal pasta sauce is ruined!"

Suzaku felt his eye twitching. Why the hell did everything have to be royal?!!

Suzaku walked up to his princess, surprisingly calm. He offered her his arm and even though it (much like the rest of him) was covered in pasta sauce, she took it without hesitation.

"Come on, Euphy," the literally-white knight said. "Let's go watch the royal television. I think Death Note is coming on soon."

"But what about dinner?! I didn't even get to make anything! At least let me fix you a sandwich," the princess whined.

Suzaku shook his head quickly and tightened his grip around her so she wouldn't go back into the kitchen and try to cook again.

"We'll order a pizza."

"A _royal_ pizza?!"

"Of course, Euphy. Of course."

* * *

**A/N**: Wootz, it's finished! I don't think I've ever updated this quickly! Of course tell me what you thought. I can't wait for the next chapter. It involves Suzaku, Lelouch, and an interesting game of Simon Says.

Suzaku: Yay! We're gonna play Simon Says!

Me and Suzaku: AWESOME!

Lelouch: What, are you five?

Me: Don't be mean to my suzu-chan, lulu! Don't worry. You'll get your own super special awesome chapter.

Lelouch: *pouts* promise?

Me: of course! *huggles lulu and suzu into big fluffy pile of affection* I love you guys!

Suzaku and Lelouch: we love you too, Stephie-chan!

Me: on to the next chappy!


	3. Insanity 3 Suzaku Says

Author's Note: Haha! Time for story # 3! This fanfic is going by fast! I've barely started on chappy 3 of Notebooks and Vampires of the Revolution. Oh wellz. I've had the idea for this chapter in my head for awhile. It was so much fun to write. Seriously, I cracked myself up.

Lelouch: I hate this chapter.

Suzaku: Really, lulu? I don't see why. It was pretty funny to me.

Lelouch: Of course it was funny to you!

Me: Now, now boys. Enough fighting. On to the fanfic!

Disclaimer: I only own the plot for this story; nothing more, nothing less.

* * *

Lelouch was so freakin' tired. The Black Knights had put up a damn good fight, if he did say so himself. It had been a difficult battle and yet, surprisingly easy. Of course that was partly because Suzaku wasn't there in that stupid Lancelot of his. His absence had made Lelouch's plan go smoothly. He was one step closer to crushing Britannia.

Lelouch laughed evilly, and then stopped rather abruptly. Oh no! He was starting to sound like a certain evil fanfiction obsessed yaoi writer who loved cupcakes and had a small obsession with Suzaku! (A/N: Hey!)

Lelouch was quite tired and therefore hadn't taken off his Zero attire yet. It was risky but he didn't care. He took a short-cut through the forest, eager to make it back to Ashford Academy as soon as possible. Of course, he really should stop somewhere and change before he entered his house. Sayoko might be suspicious if Zero suddenly walked through the door saying, "Hello, Nunally!"

All of a sudden, the ground was no longer beneath him. He was rising into the air, tangled in some kind of…net?

"Son of a—. What the hell, man?!" Lelouch shouted realization sinking in. He, Zero (King of Elevens, leader of the Black Knights), just got captured in a trap that was mediocre at best. Seriously, he was pretty sure this idea was on Scooby Doo before. Suzaku could've thought of a better plan than this.

"Got him!" A familiar voice shouted. Suddenly, Suzaku, sexy pilot of the Lancelot, jumped down from a tree. He wore jeans and a green tee-shirt that fit him perfectly. Lelouch's heart probably would've been beating with desire…if he _hadn't _been hanging from a tree.

"So, Zero," Suzaku said, justice oozing from his every pore, "you've finally been captured and by me, no less. Lloyd said this was never going to work; that you weren't nearly stupid enough to fall for this. I guess he was wrong."

Burning hot rage surged through Lelouch. He was freakin' Zero for God's sake! He'd escaped capture thousands of times and yet he fell for this?! Damn you, Sunrise! Damn you!

"Now," Suzaku said, lowering the terrorist to the ground, "Let's see who you _really_ are!"

Time seemed to go in slow motion as Suzaku removed the mask. Slowly, inch-by-inch of Lelouch's face was revealed. Shock and betrayal was evident in Suzaku's eyes.

"Le-Lelouch? Y-you're Zero?" Suzaku sounded so hurt. So heart-broken.

"You lied to everyone. To Nunally. And…to me. And now, I have to turn you in."

"Suzaku," Lelouch said as tears fell down his face. "I'm sorry. I know I lied and I know that I hurt you. But, please don't turn me in. I'll do anything, just please don't arrest me!"

"Anything, hmm?" Suzaku thought. At this point there was only one thing that would erase what Lelouch had done. But he would never agree to it. He would rather be arrested than sacrifice his pride.

"I'll make you a deal, Lelouch. Play a game of Simon Says with me. I'll be Simon. If you win, I'll let you go and we'll pretend that this never happened. If I win, then I'll have to turn you in."

Lelouch frowned. He had never been very good at Simon Says. He was good at being Simon but that was because he was a natural-born leader. When it came to following directions, however, he was terrible. He didn't take direction well, even as a child.

"O-okay, Suzaku. I'll play Simon Says with you." Lelouch answered timidly. He had a feeling he was going to regret this later in life.

"Yay!" Suzaku said happily. "Okay. Simon Says…jump up and down."

Lelouch sighed; this was going to be a long game.

* * *

"Simon Says get on all fours." Suzaku said, an evil glint in his eyes.

Lelouch did as he was told. He noticed that Suzaku was moving behind him. He was about to turn around and ask what he was doing but he was interrupted by another command.

"Simon says don't turn around."

Lelouch gritted his teeth. Stupid Suzaku with his stupid, childish games and his idiocy.

Suzaku grinned terribly at Lelouch's current position. It was all going according to plan.

All of a sudden, Lelouch felt a great weight upon his back. He hadn't been expecting it and had to use all of his meager strength just to keep himself upright. It took him a minute to realize that the "great weight" upon his back was Suzaku's sexy ass. In the back of his mind, Lelouch couldn't help but wonder which weighed more: gorgeousness or idiocy.

"Suzaku! Get the hell offa me!" Lelouch shouted.

"Sorry, Lelouch. No can do," Suzaku smiled. "Now, where was I? Oh yeah, Simon Says…bark like a dog."

Lelouch froze. There was no way in hell he was going to do that. Suzaku _knew_ that he wasn't going to do it, too. He had his pride to maintain. But…if he didn't he would be arrested and turned in to his father and that was _not_ an option.

"What kind of dog?" Lelouch asked through clenched teeth.

"A cute, fluffy dog," Suzaku requested sweetly. "The kind Milly would stuff in her purse."

Lelouch almost gagged. His pride was choking him. At this point, his self-esteem was all he had left and he was barely hanging on to that.

"ARR! RARR, RUPH! ARR!" Lelouch barked as best he could. It was difficult; it seemed that his ego was larger than he thought.

Suzaku couldn't hold it in anymore. He was literally _rolling on the floor laughing his ass off_. He went sliding off of Lelouch's back and straight into the dirt. He didn't even care. This was. Too. Damn. Funny. He _really_ should have brought a camera.

Lelouch was really trying _not_ to hit Suzaku. It was hard. Like almost freakin' impossible.

"That's it Suzaku! I'm not doing this anymore! You can turn me in; kill me; whatever. I don't care! But I will not sacrifice my pride like this any longer!"

"I'm sorry, Lelouch," Suzaku gasped through his giggles. "I mean, you didn't even have to do this in the first place. You obviously wanted to."

Silence, then "What?"

Suzaku rolled his eyes. "You're my best friend. I would never turn you in, Lulu."

Lelouch felt tears roll down his face before he could stop himself.

"So you're saying I didn't have to do any of those things? That you never would have turned me in?"

Suzaku smiled and nodded pleasantly.

Lelouch smacked him upside the head as hard as he could.

"You bastard!" Lelouch screeched.

"Come on, Lu. Don't be mad. It was all in good fun."

Lelouch sighed. Suzaku was a bastard. A nice bastard, but a bastard none the less.

"Come on, Lulu. I just have one more request."

Lelouch smirked. "Another Simon Says demand?"

Suzaku shook his head. "No. A Suzaku Says demand. Well, I suppose it's more of a request. Of course you can choose not to do it."

"Just spit it out," Lelouch said. "What does Suzaku Say?"

"Suzaku Says, kiss me." He whispered the words softly and sweetly.

Lelouch didn't hesitate. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Suzaku's, albeit a little shyly. He had wanted to do that for so long.

Suzaku kissed him back. His mouth was sure and strong and warm. Kissing Suzaku was perfect. It felt exciting and new, yet comforting and familiar. There was something almost innocent in the way Suzaku kissed Lelouch. The kiss was sweet with an edge of barely repressed passion.

Suzaku pulled away and whispered sweetly to him in Japanese.

"Aishiteru."

Lelouch gazed into Suzaku perfect, amazing eyes. He was breathless.

"I love you too, Zuzu."

* * *

A/N: Yeah, yeah, that chapter had copious amounts of fluff and it was adorable, etc. But seriously, all fluff aside, that was the best game of Simon Says, _ever_. Don't you agree, Suza-chan?

Suzaku: it was amazing! Thank you, Stephie-sama!

Me: It was my pleasure, baby! Where's Lulu?

Suzaku: He's taking a nap. *smiles at all the awesome readers*Now, all you lovely fanfic readers, instead of bribing you with cupcakes, I'm going to bribe you with limited edition _**Code Geass cookies!!!**_ You can get one shaped like your favorite Code Geass character… however, if you don't review, you still get the atomic corn muffinz of **DOOM!!** The cookies will be featured in the next chapter. Oh, and I hope the obvious, ridiculous Suzaku love didn't get on anyone's nerves. TTFN!


	4. Insanity 4 Lulu's Awesome Chapter!

A/N: Okay, I had been hoping to update sooner and this is not the chapter I had originally planned to post. But the chapter I had originally planned got…post-poned…through no fault of my own.

Lelouch: Which is basically code for "through _all_ fault of her own".

Me: *smacks Lulu*

Anywayz, as I was saying, it got post-poned and unfortunately Mr. Super-Evil-Change-the-World-Super-Smart-Poopy-Head is right. I was just lazy. So this is just like a little filler chapter. Haha! I can't believe I'm so lazy that I wrote a filler chapter for my collection of _oneshots_! However, I felt this was a perfect opportunity to keep my promise to Lulu!

Lulu: *brighten noticeably* you mean…

Yes, without further ado, I give you LELOUCH'S SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME CHAPTER…OF DOOM!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing *sad face*

* * *

**LULU'S SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME CHAPTER…OF DOOM!!!**

Lelouch woke up on Friday morning feeling _awesome_. Today was going to be a great day! He could feel it. Everything was going to go smoothly, perfectly even! Today was _his_ day.

He hopped out of bed and tossed on his uniform leisurely. He was in no hurry whatsoever. He made his way down stairs slowly. When he reached his kitchen, Nunnally was already seated and nearly finished with her breakfast of waffles and bacon.

"Hello, Nunnally," Lelouch greeted his little sister sweetly. _It's going to be a perfect day_ he thought with a smile, as he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

"Hello, big brother!" Nunnally replied. "Are you feeling well today?"

"Of course, Nunnally!" _Perfect day_. He placed his Poptarts into the toaster with great ease. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's just that you slept quite late. Suzaku came by to walk to class with you but you were still asleep. We couldn't get you to wake up, though."

"What time is it?"

"About five minutes until the first class starts."

"Crap! I'm gonna be late! Lelouch grabbed his Poptarts and dashed out the front door. He hadn't ever run this fast before in his life. He was almost there. So close. So close…

_SLAM!_ The door shut in his face just as the bell rang. _Damn!_ He thought. _Okay. Calm down, Lelouch. It's okay. You've just had a minor setback. Don't let it bother you. It's still going to be the perfect day._

Lelouch made his way to the office to get a late pass and took his time getting to class. Just because he had hurried to get to class, didn't mean he actually wanted to go to class.

He gave the pass to his teacher and took his seat next to Suzaku. Suzaku gave him a winning smile and Lelouch smiled back in return. Maybe today really would be a good day…

…His teacher then chose to announce that they had a test today! It was their Latin class and the only class Suzaku didn't struggle with. Oddly enough, foreign languages came naturally to the Japanese boy. However, the same could not be said for his Britannian counterpart. Latin was one of the classes he was more than happy to skip.

_Translate the following sentence._

_Ecce! In pictura est puella Romana, nomine Cornelia. Et altera puella, nomine Flavia_.

Ah, hell. It was going to be a long hour and a half.

* * *

"So," Suzaku said, "How do you think you did on the Latin test?"

Lelouch groaned. "Awful. We would have a test in a class that I skip almost every day."

"Maybe you shouldn't skip all the time."

"But how else am I supposed to catch up on my reading and get my beauty rest?"

Suzaku smiled and shook his head. "_Lelouch est molestus puer._ You know, I'm good at Latin. I could tutor you if you want."

Both boys stopped in their tracks at the same time.

"Whoah! That was weird!"

"I know! That's the first time that's ever happened in a fanfic! I thought this day would never come!"

Lelouch patted his friend on the shoulder. "Congratulations, Suzaku. I'm happy for you. This is the first time a fanfic writer _hasn't _made you a complete and utter idiot!"

Suzaku grinned and bounced on his toes happily. "I know! Now, let's go celebrate."

* * *

Suzaku and Lelouch found themselves in mall later that afternoon. They squeezed into a photo booth together. The booth was a bit smaller than they both anticipated and Lelouch ended half-standing and half-sitting on Suzaku's lap. All-in-all, it was fun.

They soon wandered into Target, which was strangely crowded that day. It was filled with tons of little cute (and some ugly) peppy teenage girls.

"I wonder what's going on," Lelouch wondered aloud.

"According to the sign the Jonas Brothers are here signing auto-graphs."

"What did you say?!" Lelouch asked, quite high-pitched. He gripped Suzaku's arm tightly.

"The Jonas Brothers are here signing CDs."

"AH!" Lelouch screamed, sounding quite like a fangirl. "I LOVE THE JONAS BROTHERS!"

Lelouch then proceeded to drag Suzaku into the thicket of the chaos. Searching everywhere for a CD to get the JoBros to sign. And then he saw it.

A single Jonas Brothers CD sat on the shelf.

However, this stroke of luck did not make him any less aware of his surroundings. Another girl had also spotted this CD.

He rushed forward at the same moment the girl had. He continued to drag Suza-chan along. He ran so fast; he had never run this fast before. Even poor Suzu was out of breath. But could you blame him? I mean, this is the Jonas Brothers we're talking about! They had the ability to turn any annoying, cliché teenage girl into a pile of _mush_. Freaking mush.

Lelouch and the girl managed to grab the CD at the same time. Lelouch tugged with all his strength but the girl did not release her hold on the disc.

"The CD is mine, bitch!" Lelouch screamed at the girl. There was something about her that was familiar but he couldn't place his finger on it.

"Euphy!" Suzaku exclaimed all of a sudden, addressing the girl.

"Euphemia?!" Lelouch gasped. No wonder she was familiar. She was his _sister._

The Britannian siblings turned to Suzaku. Poor Suzaku, stuck in the middle, torn between his prince and his princess.

"Suzaku, I swear if you let her have the CD, I will never speak to you again," Lelouch said, venom encasing his words.

"Zuzu-chan, if you let him have the CD, I will never cook for either of you again!" Euphemia shouted.

Suzaku didn't even have to think about it. He snatched the disc from Euphy's hands and shoved it into Lulu's unsuspecting arms. He then proceeded to drag the prince to the long line of fangirls waiting to get their CDs signed, with Euphemia shouting behind them.

"I'm surprised you let me have the CD," Lelouch said, eyes shining with happiness.

"Trust me," Suzaku replied with relief in his voice, "I did us both a big favor."

* * *

Lelouch was practically _bouncing_with joy, as he and Suzaku headed back to Ashford Academy. He was a proud owner of a signed Jonas Brothers CD! He gazed at the disc lovingly; after all it had been signed with love. _Love Joe, Nick, and Kevin_. Today really had been the perfect day.

_Meow. SNATCH!_

Lelouch froze as a certain evil cat ran off with his CD. _What the hell?!!!!_Lelouch looked over at Suzaku, who was oblivious to everything. He was just standing there jamming to his Ipod, practically freaking dancing. Lelouch yanked the earbud from his ear and punched his friend in the shoulder.

"Owie!" Suzaku exclaimed, rubbing his arm. "What was that for?"

The prince pointed at the retreating feline. "The cat from hell just stole my CD!"

"So? What do you want me to do about it?"

Another punch. "Go catch him, dammit!"

The knight rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Lelouch. It's just a CD. Arthur will give it back eventually."

Lelouch (like most fangirls and fanboys) did not think straight when it came to his obsessions. So, he lashed out. Later on, he would feel bad about it. Later on, he would actually consider apologizing. Later on, he would realize that he'd actually managed to traumatize the Japanese boy. Later on, a few oneshots later, he would pay dearly for his mistake.

But for now, he would use all methods necessary to get his CD back.

Lelouch wrapped his hand around Suzaku's neck. His eyes burned with a look, similar to the one a serial killer would give his torture victim.

"Suzaku," Lelouch growled, tightening his hold around the boy, "If you'd like to live to see the next oneshot, I suggest you get my damn CD back…NOW!" Lelouch practically screamed.

Apparently Suzaku wasn't so stupid. He did what most people who had a normally-functioning fear of pissed off fanboys would've done. He ran after the damn cat.

Lelouch smiled bitterly as his more athletic counterpart ran after the devil-cat. Today would be the perfect day…once Suzaku retrieved his precious disc.

* * *

About half an hour later, Suzaku was practically collapsed on the floor of the Student Council Room. His body was covered in scratches and he had been babbling incoherently for awhile now. The council members were fawning over the poor boy. Even Nina was a tad worried for his well-being. Everyone in the room was trying to make sure Suzaku stayed conscious…well, except for one person.

That person, Prince Lelouch Vi Britannia, was currently shaking his sexy, royal ass in the center of the room.

"_I'm hot. You're cold. You go around like you know. Who I am. But you don't. You've got me on my toes."_

Lelouch was singing and shaking his booty with reckless abandon. His lips were curled upwards in a seductive smile and his hips were swinging quite suggestively.

Ladies and gentlemen, step up! Introducing His Royal Highness, stripper extraordinaire! Hey, you there! Don't slip that flimsy one dollar into his pants. His Highness only accepts 50 dollar bills!

It was a sight to behold. All eyes were on him. Even Suzaku managed to snap out of his stupor long enough to watch Lelouch shake his money-maker.

Lelouch was quite lucky. Rivalz did not ask for some dance moves, like he so desperately wanted to. Suzaku managed to refrain from laughing like a mad man. Nina did not blush as expected. Kallen did not collapse in a pile of amusement, though the desire was strong within her. Shirley managed to fight her violent nosebleed. Milly did not take a picture or videotape him, even though the urge was so strong, it was almost painful.

It was these small blessings that Lelouch was thankful for. It was these small blessings that let him continue dancing. It was these small blessings that allowed fangirls everywhere to have wonderful metal images.

All-in-all, it was the perfect day.

* * *

A/N: Ah ha! 'Tis finished! It took me forever to write this chapter. So everyone, what did you think?

Suzaku, Kallen and Milly: *collapses in heap of amusement*

Shirley: *nosebleed*

Nina: *blush and small giggle*

Rivalz: Awesome moves, Lulu! *attempts to dance*

Lelouch: Thanks, Stephie-chan. I loved it, even though these idiots are laughing. *addresses lovely readers* I hope all of you liked the chappy, I know I did. Please review and prepare thyself for the next chapter, as well as the grand appearance of ROLO, NUNNALLY AND GINO!!!!! Now, it's time for me to shake my sexy groove thang! *dances with Stephanie*

Everyone: GO LULU! GO STEPHIE! GO LULU! GO STEPHIE!


	5. Insanity 5 Fan Service

A/N: *sighs* As much as I hate to say it, this chapter sucks armpits. Seriously. This is, single-handedly, the worst thing I have ever written. When I finished this chapter, I almost considered committing suicide, that's how much I hate this chapter. *jumps off cliff*

Suzaku: *cries*

Lelouch: You know she's not actually dead yet, right?

BAM!

Lelouch: Now she's dead.

Disclaimer: Thankfully, I do not own Code Geass or else we would have episodes much like this chapter.

* * *

Suzaku found himself standing in a beautiful garden. It was midnight, the time of night for lovers and magic and rapists and…_fan service._

The knight looked down at himself and his fine clothing. He was donned in white pants and a white jacket, both embellished with gold lining and accents. His shirt was the most elegant emerald green in all the land. His boots, also white, were clean and gleaming. A majestic sword hung from his perfect hips.

"Hm, well…this is interesting," Suzaku said to his self.

Indeed, it was interesting. Here we have a gorgeous knight in garden filled with lilies and peonies and roses. It's a midnight, the most beautiful and sexual time of night. I think we're in need of a princess, don't you?

Suddenly, the peace was disrupted by a loud shout.

"GLOM TIME!!!"

All of a sudden, a burst of pink came from the tall bushes and proceeded to glom our poor knight.

"Euphemia?!" Suzaku exclaimed. "Stephanie put you in this story, too?!"

Euphemia giggled and nodded. "Yup, she said I could be as fanservice-y as I want. That is, as long as I promise to never cook for her again."

Euphy then proceeded to kiss Suzaku quite passionately. You could feel the sexual tension, their hormones wafting up in little pink and green waves. Anyone in their right mind would be blushing right now.

* * *

Lelouch found himself in a tower, looking out the window. He saw what looked like a pink fluffy wolf attacking the sweetest, cutest green-eyed bunny in the world.

And then, the prince hit the ground.

"GINO~!" Lelouch screeched. "Get off of me!" Why did idiots like hugging him?

"Aww, don't be that way, Lulu," Gino said, good-naturedly. Lelouch smacked him across the head.

"What did I tell you about calling me Lulu?! Only Suzaku is allowed to call me Lulu!"

Gino pouted. "But Lelouch!" He whined. "I thought we were bestest buddies!"

"Gino! You and I are not 'bestest buddies' nor will we ever be 'bestest buddies'. Now, please leave me alone!" Lelouch left the room, his cape swishing behind him.

* * *

"What the hell, Euphy?!!!" Suzaku shouted, pushing the girl off of him as gently as possible. "You can't just tackle people to the ground and start kissing them!"

"Um, Suzaku? My father controls an entire one-third of the world. I think I can do whatever I want."

Lelouch walked towards them, practically running. He had to get away from that blond-haired freak as quickly as possible. He froze when he saw their current position.

"Uh, Euphy? Why are you trying to rape my best friend?"

Euphemia grabbed Suzaku's face and shoved it in Lelouch's direction. "Cuz he's just so cute!!!!!"

Lelouch rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, Lulu. You know you want it," Suzaku bragged.

_Oh yeah. _Lelouch thought.

"ZAKU!" Gino exclaimed suddenly, jumping onto his fellow knight.

"GINO!"

The two knights then proceeded to do a ridiculous secret handshake involving a lot of high-fives, hip-bumping, and gentle punches. It ended with a very epic back-to-back pose and the words _Friendship Action, Go!_

This moment of corny friendship cheesiness was brought to you Cliché Incorporated. There's never an unpredictable moment when you're using Cliché Inc.

Gino grinned at the Japanese boy. "I'm so glad to see you, Suzaku! I missed you, best friend!"

Lelouch interjected before Suzaku could respond. "Um, Gino? I hate to break it to you but Suzaku is _my_ best friend."

"We can share him!" Gino offered.

Lelouch laughed quite fakely. "Ahaha….no, we can't."

Gino pouted, "In that case, I think I should get Suza."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Lelouch said mockingly, "Were you and Suzaku childhood friends? Did you and Suzaku have warm fluffy ten-year-old moments? Do thousands of fangirls write hot, steamy fanservice about you two? I didn't think so."

The knight of three pouted, "Aw, Lulu. You're so mean!"

Lelouch began punching the blond boy repeatedly. "What the hell did I tell you about calling me Lulu?!!!"

Suzaku sighed. "This is sad…Gino is a Knight of the Round and he's getting his butt kicked by Lelouch? That's just pathetic."

Euphy nodded in agreement. "Sad but entertaining."

Lelouch held Gino's face in his hands, forcing their eyes to meet. "Every time I say 'fuck you', punch yourself as hard as you can."

"Fuck you," Lelouch snarled.

_Punch._

"Fuck you."

_Punch._

"Fu—" Lelouch was interrupted as a hand covered his mouth.

"That's enough," Suzaku said.

"Hey," Gino said rather suddenly (he had a few bruises and his lip was bleeding but he was otherwise okay), "Let's go get some ice cream!"

"Yeah~!" Suzaku and Euphy exclaimed. Lelouch merely sighed as he linked arms with Suzaku.

* * *

Hidden in the bushes nearby, a pair of twins watched the entire scene.

"Rolo!" the girl gasped, grasping her brother's arm. "They're perfect!"

The boy nodded. "You're right, Nunnally. They'll make the perfect family for us. That dark-haired boy should be our mama!"

"Yeah! And the guy with the brown hair would make a great daddy. Oooh! We can have the blond be our uncle, on our father's side of course."

"What about the whiny bitch with the pink hair? I don't like her much. What will she be?"

"Hmm," Nunnally tapped her chin thoughtfully, "She could be papa's unwanted mistress."

Rolo smiled at his twin. "Well, Nunnally, looks like we got ourselves a family."

* * *

A/N: So, yeah, before anyone comments on the random orphans in the bushes, let me just say **I don't know either**. I'm not really sure where that came from. It just worked. BTW, this oneshot is gonna have another part. Sorry. I know it was awful. *bows head in deep shame* Suzaku, if you would…

Suzaku: Stephanie would like to give a big hearty _Gomen nasai_ to everyone for this sucky chapter. Thank you for reading this fanfic so far. A giant hug to all that reviewed/favorite/alerted any of her stories. She promises to do better next time!


End file.
